Sleep anxiety in children is a common issue that many face at some stage, defined as stress or fear of going to sleep. It can occur at any age, whether it is a toddler who becomes more clingy around bedtime to avoid being put to bed or a teenager who finds it hard to get to sleep because of racing thoughts.
Despite being common, it’s important to address sleep anxiety if it becomes a consistent, long-lasting issue, as it can quickly disrupt sleep patterns and impact a child’s mental health. We understand that it can be stressful for parents and caregivers when a child is resistant to sleep, especially when they are having an anxious response, so we have put together some practical advice for helping a child sleep better below.
Table of contents
- What is sleep anxiety in children?
- What causes sleep anxiety?
- Sleep anxiety by age
- How to help an anxious child sleep through the night
- When to seek professional help
- Looking for support?
What is sleep anxiety in children?
Sleep anxiety in children is more than the occasional bad dream or trouble getting off to sleep. Some signs of that indicate child bedtime anxiety are:
- consistent trouble falling asleep
- frequent waking in the night
- becoming emotional or distressed at bedtime
- complaints of stomach aches, headaches, or feeling sick at bedtime
- frequent nightmares
- refusal to sleep in their own bed
- reluctance to being left alone at bedtime
- asking for reassurance repeatedly such as asking if you’ll stay with them until they’re asleep
What causes sleep anxiety?
You may be wondering then, why does my child get anxious at night? There can be a range of factors that lead to sleep anxiety with the most common being fear of the dark, separation anxiety and reluctance to be away from parents, lifestyle changes that increase anxiety in general, or recurring nightmares. Kids who are diagnosed with mental health or neurodevelopmental conditions may also experience more anxieties than other children, further impacting their ability to sleep.
While many of these issues may remedy themselves as a child gets older, it’s important to intervene if you notice it becoming a consistent issue as ongoing sleep anxiety may lead to fatigue, irritability, and decreased concentration during the day.
Sleep anxiety by age
At different ages, the anxieties that may be responsible for bedtime fears in kids can vary. It’s important to understand the cause of a child’s sleep anxiety in order to offer practical solutions. For example, if a child is afraid of the dark, they may benefit from having a night light in their room.
Younger children (up to four)
At this age many report fear of the dark, monsters under the bed, and other concerns raised by their active imaginations. If a child is still adjusting to sleeping in their own room, separation anxiety may also be present.
Primary aged children (five to seven)
An active imagination still plays a role at this age but real-world anxieties may also factor in. Many report fears of thunderstorms, something happening to their parents, or burglars, fuelled by them having a greater knowledge of real-life situations. This is also an age where nightmares may become more common.
Older children (eight to twelve)
At this age children are more aware of real dangers that could be internalised. They may have anxiety about health, death, or be concerned with social situations or school life. They might not show the signs of sleep anxiety as clearly as younger children, but may avoid falling asleep or going to bed to prevent the time spent with their thoughts.
Teenagers
Teenagers may experience similar anxieties to those we have as adults. This could be internal anxieties about their identity or health, or external anxieties about social issues, relationships, or their performance academically or otherwise.
How to help an anxious child sleep through the night
If you’re looking to help your child overcome sleep anxiety and get a more restful night’s sleep, there are things you can do to improve their bedtime routine and relationship with sleep overall.
Create a calming bedtime routine
Creating a calming bedtime routine for anxious children can do a lot of helping them feel secure and regulated at nighttime. Start winding down for the evening with cosy activities like bedtime stories, clearing away toys, or talking to your child about their day. Avoid late-night snacking that may make it harder for a child to settle or screen time before bed if you can. Good sleep hygiene such as having a regular bedtime, not letting a child go to bed hungry or thirsty, and a regular wake-up time can all contribute to a healthy routine.
Make the sleep environment comfortable
It’s important to ensure that a child’s sleeping space is comfortable. There should be no stimulating lighting, turned-on screens, or objects that can create unpredictable noises in the room if possible. If a child is scared of the dark, you can opt for a night-light designed for purpose that is dim. Clean sheets, making sure the room isn’t too hot or cold, and ensuring things are tidied away can all help a child to relax.
Teach relaxation techniques
If your child’s anxiety is not helped by environmental factors, you may want to consider teaching them techniques to calm themselves down when they feel stressed. This can include mindfulness and breathing exercises for kids.
Gradually encourage independent sleeping
If you’re wondering how to get a child with anxiety to sleep alone, the answer may be taking gradual steps. You can introduce a transitional object to help them cope with separation anxiety such as a stuffed animal, item of your clothing, or anything that brings them comfort in your absence. You may start by staying with your child for as long as it takes them to fall asleep and then reduce the time to one story. Giving in to requests to stay by your child’s side the whole night may be tempting, but it’s best to give them realistic expectations to avoid them becoming distressed if they wake and you’re no longer there.
When to seek professional help
While it can feel tough to deal with, sleep anxiety is a common phase that many children go through that can be managed independently. However, it is best to seek help if your child’s anxiety over sleep isn’t improving despite your efforts, or if it is impacting their daily functioning, schooling, or relationships with family and friends.
Speaking to a professional may give you a better insight into your child’s mental health and relationship with sleep, and can be helpful in finding positive coping strategies for child anxiety. With ongoing sleep anxiety, you may wish to rule out sleep disorders or broader anxiety that your child may be experiencing, and a professional can help you do that.
Looking for support?
If your child has persistent sleep anxiety or trouble with their sleep, you can find out more about the support available on our anxiety support page.
Contact us now at 0203 326 9160 or you can request a free confidential call back from one of our trained assistant psychologists.
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